The [FU] Disclaimer

oNOTICEo
If this Server crashes your computer;
misaligns your stars;
impregnates your dog;
burns your house down;
brings about the doomsday;
splices, dices, mutilates or destroys your TV;
causes an electrical spike that knocks our all electrical
energy within a ten mile radius of your computer;
won't work on your computer;
causes any harm to you, your possessions, or anybody you
know or don't know; anything you own or don't own;
pisses you off;
gives you seizures;
or causes you the slightest bit of un-enjoyment,
it is not my fault and I cannot be held accountable, because
I said so.
Also-this product is meant for educational purposes only.
Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely
coincidental.
Void where prohibited.
Some assembly required.
List each check separately by bank number.
Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Use only as directed.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
Subject to CAB approval.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to affected area.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Do not stamp.
Use other side for additional listings.
For recreational use only.
Do not disturb.
All models over 18 years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Subject to change without notice.
Times approximate.
Simulated picture.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
For off-road use only.
As seen on TV.
One size fits all.
Many suitcases look alike.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Colors may fade.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
Slippery when wet.
For office use only.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Drop in any mailbox.
Edited for television.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
At participating locations only.
Not the Beatles.
Penalty for private use.
See label for sequence.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Do not write below this line.
Falling rock.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your canceled check is your receipt.
Add toner.
Place stamp here.
Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Beware of dog.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
You must be present to win.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flames.
Replace with same type.
Approved for veterans.
Booths for two or more.
Check here if tax deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Price does not include taxes.
No Canadian coins.
Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
No solicitors.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
List at least two alternate dates.
First pull up, then pull down.
Call toll free number before digging.
Driver does not carry cash.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
Your mileage may vary.
Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies.
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
Beware of gifts bearing Greeks.
This side up.
Don't take any wooden nickels.
Don't take candy from strangers.
Void where prohibited.
Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people).
Donde esta el bano.
Beware of DOS.
Look both ways before crossing the street.
All your base are belong to us.
Always wear safety belt.
Always wear deodorant.
Don't forget to breathe.
If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people.
Check your guns at the bar.
No peddlars, solicitors or agents.
Danger, shark infested waters.
Slippery when wet.
No warranties expressed or implied including warranty of fitness for a particular purpose.
Tobacco use can make you impotent.
Cigarettes may cause sexual impotence due to decreased blood flow to the penis.
This can prevent you from having an erection.
This supersedes all previous notices.